Traditional Family Rules by Giulietta Biraghi
Living with a traditional Italian family can have its moments..……..both good and bad. When you are used to a life of freedom: eating whenever you are hungry; going out for drinks at the drop of a hat; finding some casual work to save up for something special or just making a decision and following it through, it can be very difficult to conform to a more rigid way of life. The traditional Italian family is composed of strict, unbreakable and unspoken rules. For example: food culture.
I am used to a very casual approach to food. In Aus, we always eat dinner at the table as a family but the details are much more relaxed. You may eat dinner on one night at 7pm and the next night at 8pm because maybe you went to see a movie or you had a dance class. Maybe you decided to have fish and chips at the beach and thus had dinner at 5pm while it was still light enough to enjoy the view. What ever the time or the reasoning, you can choose to do whatever you want because there are no set rules. This just doesn’t happen in the traditional Italian family. Lunch, dinner and coffee are served at the same time every day and unless you give a day’s notice that you will not be present, there is hell to pay! It is just how it is. I have tried to explain that occasionally I may be out and meet up with a friend and we may grab something to eat but, even if I phone to say I wont be there, this seems incomprehensible to the traditional Italian.
Thus, I have learnt to fit in with the rules. I have learnt to plan ahead of time (like we used to do before cell phones) and I have learnt never to call the house between 2pm and 5pm because everyone will be ‘resting’. I even occasionally find myself saying no to invitations because I have become accustomed to the set routine. I know that on Friday night we eat seafood at home and it is always delicious so what could be better than that? When I set a meeting time with a friend I never suggest right after lunch because I know that I will be relaxing after a huge meal and a glass or two of wine.
It is then that I realized that the rules really aren’t that bad. It is actually quite comforting to think that the coming together for a meal is so high on the list of family priorities. It is the foundation of the famous “Italian way of life” that all foreigners come here to experience. Family, food, wine and relaxation are the real priorities of life. An urgent work matter is never so urgent that it requires an Italian to break the rules and stay late at the office. This also explains why you can’t find a plumber to come and fix the hot water service for three days. Work is just not as important as enjoying a meal with the family. In the scheme of life it is a wonderful way to be………as long as you are not the one having the cold showers!
March 26th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
I wouldn’t mind what the rules were if someone was going to cook for me every night of the week!!!